#i care riza so much

[justaradioguy]

His fatal flaw in this moment is being still unable to lie to them. He at least takes the offer to sit, letting it buy him a few more seconds to think of what to reply with.

The mattress they have is a bit more comfortable than the one he's stuck with in the medical ward, but both of them are far more comfortable than wilderness, so he discards that note from his mind and sets his aid off to the side still within arm's reach. His eyes follow Chicken as the bird continues his search, but his mind is still definitely on the question he's been asked.

Hawkeye's speaking of Wonderland. If there's any real reason Kain's not able to sleep, it's Fotset. Wonderland is very much a calmer option minus any sign of a bandersnatch, but they seem to either not realize he'd been on the front lines rather than at a cozy HQ or not realize that he's bothered by the fight with Aerugo like he has.

He's not sure which of those is more offensive, but they've never meant any harm and it's probably reasonable for them to think Wonderland is more bothersome for him than it is.

Besides, Ishval was worse, so being this torn up over Fotset is probably ridiculous anyway.

Finally, he sighs, knowing he can't avoid the truth forever.

Hawkeye has always had a way of getting him to crack. Whether it's their rank or how they carry themself, he's not sure, but it's never failed before and it certainly won't now. He'd have an easier time trying to lie to their superior.

And that sucks, because he'd come in here to check on them, not the other way around. The best he can hope for is that they won't read between the lines, but they're far too smart for him to depend on that.

"If I'm being honest, Wonderland's not all that bad. I don't have to play soldier here, and like you said, people here are nice. Nights are just... bad, and you seem like the type to be awake at stupid hours. I can leave, if you want."

He can't, but he doesn't expect them to make him.

He really shouldn't be standing. That was the first thought that crossed their mind as he came in, his Chocobo in tow. They really were cute birds, especially at this size, and it was enough to bring a brief smile to their face. Chocobos grew to be quite large, didn't they? Keeping one in an apartment wouldn't be ideal then if they wanted one someday.

Not that they could bring Chocobos back to Amestris. How would they explain them? Chimeras? Maybe. That was Brigadier General Leota's expertise. The Lieutenant was just a soldier.

Fuery's question led them to tilt their head to their right. Was it weird? They paused before they shook their head, a hand patting the mattress to indicate that he could sit. He didn't have to stand on their behalf anymore. Besides, they could use the company since they weren't going to sleep---not anytime soon. The shadows looked too much like Pride.

"I don't think it's weird, no. I'm still not used to this place." To conserve room, and perhaps for comfort, they tucked their legs close to their chest. "I can't say I like it much. White Cloud and the others are nice, but everything else is... off-putting is the only way I know how to explain it. Is it like that for you?"

[thoughtswhispered]

I love FMA:B just as much as the next person, but something that does bother me just a little bit in the switch from manga to anime is how they almost erase how gentle and kind Riza is with the kids.

Like these two moments with Winry and Al, they were completely taken out of the show, and while her moment with Winry doesn't hold much weight compared to her moment with Al, it still takes away from the fact that they were showing Riza's gentle side - which rarely gets shown in the anime.

I think her moment with Al definitely needed to make the show, not only does it foreshadow what is about to happen with Lust, but it's one of the first times that someone other than Ed reassures Al that he's important to what they're doing and not just important to Ed. And shows that she is confident in and trusts his abilities enough to depend on him, which Al probably needed to hear.

Coupled with Riza gently touching his chest plate, and Al's embarrassed little head rub, I think adding this moment would've only made Al's speech about not wanting to feel powerless when people die when they could've protected them even stronger.

Then with Ling and Lan Fan, the moments are smaller, but Riza is just as kind and gentle. It barely takes anything for Ling to convince her to stop and get Lan Fan, even when they are going full speed through the middle of a city, Bradley is looking for Ling and Lan Fan, and they have a homunculus tied up in the back of Riza's car.

Even when Riza is helping Dr. Knox clean up Lan Fan's amputation, in the manga, she's just gentler.

Compare this to Lan Fan having the rag in her mouth instead of Riza holding on her head, making sure Lan Fan is covered, and even the way Riza holds her shoulders is different.

And when they are piling up in the car to get away from Gluttony, in the anime they had Al take the time to ask Riza to take care of Lan Fan, which was so unnecessary. In the manga Riza just does it.

While Ed and Roy are arguing, Riza just says "Here, Lan Fan." then climbs in the back with her and cradles Lan Fan's head in her lap. None of these are much different from what they do in the anime, but I think it's enough to take away from showing Riza's soft side, especially her soft side to the younger characters.

[courtmartialme]

wow more chimera riza !!!!!!!!!!!!! since riza "dies" not long after ishval the elrics don't meet her. so they learn about her when finding a picture in roy's stuff. hughes ends up being the one telling the elrics about riza (i think he'd convince roy to tell him about why her death affects roy so much, so hughes knows about the tattoo and stuff) before the elrics end up coming across chimera riza at devil's nest.

i usually completely ignore the elrics in these kinda aus❤️ but in this one it's thanks to them royai get to meet again. i don't care about roy and elrics interacting at all but in this au specifically i think it's cute if they bond over caring for riza after she's rescued

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Holidays! ❄️❄️ more from What They Expect please! I love that AU!

continuation of 1 2 3

It’s been well over a year since she’s seen Mustang. Al’s all aflutter about it, and how puberty has her looking like something other than a twelve year old boy, but she’s really not worried. Mustang is so involved with his own shit that he doesn’t have the time to care about hers. It would be a damning quality if it wasn’t exactly what she needed from him.

She is, sort of, a little bit worried about Riza. Not worried as in she actually thinks something is going to happen, but just that if anyone out of Mustang’s little idiot brigade would figure her out, it would be her.

Maes is a distinct possibility, but also not really. The thing that saves her, always, is that no one’s really looking. She’s loud and flashy and angry and no one thinks she’s too short to be a guy because of how sensitive she is about it and no one notices she’s pretty because they’re too busy dealing with her being mad and scowling and, with these guys, she’s got an extra ace up her sleeve.

They think they already know all her secrets.

They know about human transmutation and binding her brother’s soul to a suit of armor and every questionable and terrible thing she’s done since in her pursuit to fix it.

Why the hell would she be lying about her gender? It’s not even a thought in their heads, and if it ever becomes one, they’ll dismiss it before he even has a chance to.

Eden binds her chest tight extra tight, so her chest is nearly flat, and puts on her baggy tank top and giant red coat that hides the way her hips curve and the giant stompy boots that she really does love, sets her face in a familiar scowl, and goes off to war.

If war was child’s play, that is.

“Where have you been?” Mustang demands, towering over her and nostrils flaring.

Well. Sort of towering over her. She must have had a growth spurt, because he’s really only got a couple inches on her, which is sort of hilarious. She hadn’t noticed that he was short before. “Uh, lots of places. Haven’t you been reading my reports?”

She does not laugh in his face at the way his eyebrow ticks. She spends so much time meticulously writing everything down in dedicated code in her travelogues, she really doesn’t have the energy to spare when she gets to her reports for Mustang. Besides, he doesn’t really care what she’s doing, only that it’s big and flashy enough to distract from whatever he’s doing.

Is she supposed to know that? She can’t remember. But it’s so obvious that it doesn’t feel like something that can be a secret.

Then again, the rest of the brass haven’t caught on, so.

“What were you thinking in Liore?” he snaps.

Eden blinks. “Liore? That was forever ago. Did something happen? Rose didn’t mention anything in her last letter.”

“Yes, Edward, it was forever ago, but since you declined to answer my summons to come here and explain yourself, we’re discussing it now,” he says.

God, she’d forgotten how bitchy he gets. “Okay, well that priest guy was pretty strange-“

“I don’t care about the priest!”

She stares. She had to kill the guy twice and he doesn’t care? Honestly, she thinks it’s sort of memorable.

“What were you thinking messing with that river?”

Ed tilts her head to the side. “You’re upset about the river?”

He glares. “Of course I’m upset about the river!”

She bites the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. Al’s really worried over nothing.

Mustang is never paying attention to the right things.

[sevendeadlyseas]

Ok hear me out but I can totally see Roy Mustang being a 30 year old virgin

Like we know that he spent at least some of his adolescence in the Hawkeye’s home learning alchemy and I doubt Berthold gave him much free time to cultivate any sort of relationships, except maybe with Riza, but even then she’s four years younger than him so I think their friendship would be limited back then.

Then he goes straight to the military academy where it’s mostly men (I don’t believe we saw any women in the OVA episode and if there were any we can assume there are seperate barracks. We’re also assuming he’s not attracted to men even though I also love and accept bisexual Roy headcanon) and frat laws are enforced so not many options there.

Then it’s straight to Ishval where he gets unbelievably traumatised and comes out so self loathing I doubt he ever even considers the possibility of dating.

Now I hear you say “but he grew up in a brothel!” to which I say EXACTLY! He saw how his aunt and sisters used men’s sexuality as a weakness to exploit and blackmail them, so Roy is very conscious NOT to do that, instead twisting it to make it seem like he’s one of those men when in actuality he’s working with the girls.

Idk how much I actually believe this theory, but it’s definitely plausible. There are also moments where he 10000% had the opportunity to lose his v card (preferably with Riza Hawkeye, who I can very easily make the same argument about) and maybe he took that opportunity, who knows.

He’s also such a nerd I doubt he cared much about dating before the war.

Anyway, regardless I fully believe he’ll never confirm or deny anything, simply to keep the mystery alive.

[floatingcatacombs]

The Normal Author’s Girlfriend’s List Of Bad Yuri Anime

12 Days of Aniblogging 2024, Day 11

So you’ve seen some good yuri anime: Revolutionary Girl Utena (and the movie, if you want), Bloom Into You, Puella Magi Madoka Magica (plus, of course, Rebellion, which is essential), Bocchi: The Rock!, Girls Last Tour. You know HaruMichi and Farcille and poor sweet Tomoyo Daidouji and Quanxi’s whole deal. You’ve been queerbaited by Kyoani, or maybe you got lucky and watched Dragon Maid which was actually gay; you no longer get weirded out by incest; you wanted more Utena and got The Witch from Mercury S1 (good) or Revue Starlight (bad); maybe you’ve even gone back to Oniisama e and discovered Ryoko Ikeda’s incredible butch-for-butch technologies.

You’ve seen some good yuri and that’s been great. It’s just… there isn’t that much of it. Well, you could start reading manga, or books, or talking to actual women, but you want more yuri anime specifically.

To you, dear reader, I offer up this solution:

Bad Yuri.

Floating Catacombs 2025 Presents:

A Normal Author’s Girlfriend Production

The Normal Author’s Girlfriend’s List Of Bad Yuri Anime

Before we get started, let’s define our terms. First: Bad Yuri must not be in good taste. Second, let us consider some ‘ungood’ yuri, that we might understand what we aren’t looking for:

Case 1: Liz and the Blue Bird.

Boring and forgettable. Bad Yuri must be watchable.

Case 2: Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

Yeah the butchfemme was good but I spent this entire show waiting for KuroMaya and they only got half an episode. I don’t fucking care about ‘childhood friends’. Bad Yuri must be enjoyable.

Case 3: Hibike Euphonium

It has to be gay. Come on. This is like the most basic requirement.

Case 4: MagiRevo, Undead Murder Farce

Being gay is not enough. You have to have actual characters.

In sum: Bad Yuri must be in bad taste; it must be watchable on a minute-to-minute basis; it must not leave the watcher with a bad taste in her mouth; it must actually be gay; and it must have some semblance of characterization. In practice it is basically always violent and horny. We’re talking like Kill La Kill levels, although if you ever want to watch that you should just go see Promare instead. Also, I reserve the right to break any and all of these rules whenever I feel like it. Without further ado:

Cross Ange

Content Warnings: Blood, Violence, Death, Sexual Assault, Ryona, Incest, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, It’s Just Porn At This Point, Incredibly Stupid Plot Twists, Pretty Much Every Fetish

Princess Ange’s traitorous older brother exiles her to an island full of lesbians, where she must pilot a mech to fight dragons in incredibly revealing clothing.

This is Code Geass if it was about a girl and also worse (sorry Roze of the Recapture). This show starts with a baby being arrested. They put the baby in a special little baby jail cage in the back of a police car. The first episode ends with lesbian rape under the justification of a strip search. The weak girls on Pussy Fight Island pull knives on each other at the slightest provocation; the stronger girls pull guns; the strongest girls just use their hands.

It’s got all the subtlety of villainess manga. It’s got girls pissing themselves. It’s got a girl named Riza, short for Lizardia, because she is secretly a DRAGON. Forget ‘Lesbian soldier hopelessly in love with her commander’ – it’s got that too but it has I kid you not a lesbian harem where the top dies in combat so one of the four harem girlies has to turn into a top like a clownfish undergoing sequential hermaphroditism and take over. And then she dies too and the next one in line has to take over and then it happens again and then when it’s down to two one of them leaves because she can tell the current top’s heart isn’t in it and defects to Akio Ohtori’s side, because at least he’s willing to fuck her (lesbian cuckold count: 1) And everybody’s ass is out at all times.

It’s also got a surprising amount of Gundam intertextuality? The comparisons to Iron-Blooded Orphans are obvious; Kira Yamato is there, for some reason; her mecha is the Zeta Gundam but if it was the Strike Freedom with the TR-6 Woundwort’s Psyco Blade Goddess Antenna from Mobile Suit Gundam: Advance of Zeta: The Flag of Titans; the girls in Ange’s squadron each map perfectly to Shaddiq Zenelli’s Grassley girls.

But that’s not what you’re here for. You’re here for the scene where Hilda confesses that she’s in love with Ange but understands that Ange can never love her back, because Ange is already in love with Kira Yamato, and also with Salamandinay, a DRAGON princess from the True Earth who arrived through a dimensional rift to free Aura, the first DRAGON and the source of all magic, before Ange grabs her and gives her a full kiss while telling her that the world she’s fighting to create will have all kinds of relationships.

God Jill is so hot.

Shlock: Maximum

Lesbian: Yes, somehow, and bisexual as well. It is a male gaze thing but that’s going to be a constant with this microgenre. The vast majority of people who like women are men statistically and sometimes thank god they produce something like this

Watchability: High, if you have covid

Quality: Awful.

The Executioner And Her Way Of Life

Content Warnings: Death, Ryona, Incest, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Incredibly Stupid Plot Twist

Menou is a priestess in Isekai World whose job is to hunt down and kill Isekai Boys before they start causing problems with their Isekai Boy Powers. But this latest Isekai Boy Target… is a Girl With Enormous Tatas who she can’t kill because she auto-rewinds time to erase any wounds.

What really does it here for me is Menou’s relationship with her mentor, Flare, who groomed trained her from a young age to cut off all her emotions in order to make her a better executioner. I’m not immune to Empty Spaces/Combat Dolls/Signalis. What if Christianity wasn’t about raising girls as lambs to the slaughter but was instead about raising girls to use knives to kill people? A seductive premise for those with my particular flavor of religious trauma. Akari is fine, although I feel like Smith (Bravern) did Homura better.

I also like Momo, although I have a weakness for lesbian cuckolds (more on that later, possibly).

Shlock: High

Lesbian: Lesbian

Watchability: Moderate

Quality: Mid

Kakegurui

Content Warnings: Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Boy Protagonist before the story thankfully gets bored of him, It’s Just Porn At This Point

Yumeko Jabami transfers into Gambling Academy, where everybody gambles and failing to pay your debts means being forced into petplay slavery. Luckily for her and unluckily for everyone else she is the world’s most perfect gambler because it turns her on.

Maybe the highest exposure show on this list? It’s got gambling, and sexual gambling, and a girl who can only orgasm if she’s actively taking place in a gamble where she could die. At one point she whacks off in a bathroom playing solo Russian Roulette. It’s got a Netflix original season 2 villain who was a girl forced to dress as a boy for years in ways that drove her sexually insane. It’s got The Tower of Doors, which is the most woman game that any woman has ever played.

My favorite bit character is probably the early villain who collects fingernails from everybody she beats because that’s her fetish, or the hopelessly-devoted Student Council Secretary who wants only to lay her face on the chair where her beloved Student Council President sits (lesbian cuckold count 3; 4 if you count Midori). She asks to gamble with her life and Yumeko says that that’s boring, and that there are things she values more – and that they’ll gamble with one life vs her relationship to the Student Council President instead.

Watch the opening for this one – it’s very clear about what it is, and if it doesn’t hook you it isn’t the show for you.

Shlock: Very High

Lesbian: Surprisingly

Watchability: Very high

Quality: Fine

Akuma No Riddle

Content Warnings: Violence, Sexual Assault, Death, Ryona, Bad Taste, Needlessly Edgy, Fanservice, Various Fetishes

Bishonen girl assassin Tokaku Azuma has received her first assignment: attend the Black Class at Killing People Murder High School and kill sweet and innocent-seeming Haru Ichinose, who she immediately falls in love with. Unfortunately the other eleven members of the Black Class are also there to kill Haru.

And they’re all lesbian or bisexual. And they’re all freaks.

They’re constantly pulling guns and knives on each other. Like every conversation a weapon will come out – possibly two. There’s a lesbian serial killer who really likes using scissors on girls. Sexually. The Student Council President is sexually devoted to the school principal. There’s a twenty-year-old spoiled rich girl with a boy’s name because she was named after her mom, who was a gay man. Her dad was also a gay man. If you dare say anything homophobic about this she will kill you. Two of these girls locked eyes right as they transferred in and immediately dropped everything to engage in a 24/7 ageplay dynamic. The other spoiled rich girl is secretly a cyborg and in love with the multiple personality girl, who wants to kill her as well.

This is by the author of infamous shotacon BL manga Loveless, so I guess all that is to be expected.

Also… Akiko Morishima got really into making doujinshi for this one? Sure.

Shlock: High

Lesbian: Yeah

Watchability: Pretty decent

Quality: Sure

Yuri Kuma Arashi

Content Warnings: Sexual Assault, Bad Taste, It’s Basically Just Porn At This Point, Bears

Lesbian Bear Storm.

For my money, the best Ikuhara post-Utena work is Sarazanmai, but Yurikuma Arashi absolutely earns its spot on this list. The pieces of a story about how lesbian desire is used to titillate a male audience but never fulfilled, how desire is regulated and rendered hideous, and how girls enforce heteropatriarchy by manufacturing consensus completely independent of men are in there somewhere under the moaning naked girls licking honey off precisely-positioned lilies. I think? It’s well-directed, at least.

Shlock: Ikuni

Lesbian: Ikunirappa

Watchability: Ikunichauda

Quality: Ikunigomamonaka

(the first half of) Birdie Wing: Girls Golf Story

Content Warnings: Violence, Bad Taste, Incest but not really, Golf, The Threat of Having To Resort To Survival Sex Work Underlying This Stupid Golf Show

Birdie Wing is the story of a girl who hates golf and a girl who loves golf. Season two fails to make par because it loves golf too much; season one, with the baffling metaverse vr episode, the underground mafia roguelike golf-to-the-death course, the woman who golfs so hard her robotic arm explodes, and the inexplicable Bandai property references, is the way to go.

I hate golf in the way only an eldest daughter forced into golf lessons hates golf. When Birdie Wing hates golf – when Eve swaggers onto the course in her stupid outfits, refusing to adhere to any etiquette, uses only three clubs and slaps a ball directly into the flag to drop it straight down? I love that. When she lifts her driver and points it and says she’ll kill somebody with it? I love that.

Also like when Aoi says she’ll get her attention with this and pulls her extra long driver out and holds it like a strap. And then her beleaguered caddie talks about how Aoi pierces everyone through with an innocent smile. That was good.

The thing that stuck with me the most wasn’t actually any of the golf shenanigans – it was the way that Eve effectively shoots Aoi down when they discover that they shared a father and were therefore half-sisters. Well, it’s yuri – incest is just something you get used to. Except then it gets revealed that that was a fakeout, because Aoi’s dad was actually her dad’s best friend and her parents were in a throuple that the dad who raised her left behind to secretly raise Eve. Also her dad is Amuro Reiya and also Char Aznable is in this one? And the HG Turn A Gundam? Don’t forget to increment the Lesbian Cuckold clock up to five – Aoi herself and her poor caddy, who didn’t deserve a mysterious blonde swooping in like that.

Oh god I didn’t even mention Vipere, the slutty snake-themed bisexual underground mafia golfer (you know, for the underground golf mafia) who uses pheromones to control her opponents, gets outgolfed, and then shonen-rival style sticks around to help out whenever somebody needs a car (as the girls are too young to drive).

Shlock: Absolutely

Lesbian: Somehow

Watchability: High

Quality: Better than it had any right to be

Maria Holic

Content Warnings: Transphobia, Bad Taste, Fanservice

Kanako Miyamae is a hopeless hapless lesbian excited to attend Lily Yuri Girls Only Academy. She falls in love with a beautiful blonde girl, the queen of the school – and discovers her ideal gf is actually a boy crossdressing to attend the academy who wants nothing more than to torment her sexually.

Maria Holic works like this: Mariya wants something from Kanako, and wears a sexual little outfit/exposes his feet/blows her a kiss/strips his maid’s top off to control her through her sexuality or just because he feels like it and she falls over of anime nosebleed disorder before she remembers “oh right Mariya is a boy” and starts eating her own organs Pearl Steven Universe style. Occasionally a girl who calls herself god will say something uninteresting. Kanako has a little pervert fantasy about one of her classmates. The cast has a reference-heavy Studio Shaft Conversation. Kanako can’t get Mariya out of her head. God I had to retype every ‘him’ up there from a ‘her’ because there is no way that little bitch is anything but a girl – it just doesn’t stick in my head. They don’t make boys like that. Torturing a girl like that is a female trait.

If you don’t want to watch a lesbian get relentlessly edged by a brat this show may not be for you. In all honesty even with Studio Shaft direction I found this almost completely unwatchable but it does earn its slot here. If you want a good Studio Shaft yuri show? Go watch Madoka Magica or Hidasketch.

It does have an excellent opening though.

Shlock: High

Lesbian: Well it has at least one

Watchability: No

Quality: No

Re: Cutie Honey

Content Warnings: It’s Basically Just Porn At This Point. but god. Natsuko Aki

“Honey Flash!” yeah she sure does huh

Transforming android Honey Kisaragi fights against evil organization Panther Claw, with the reluctant help of her annoyed cop eventual bestie Na-chan. This is good, actually. Go watch it.

Seriously. The animation is so fun and vibrant! They do the super-cost-saving stills being moved thing in a very high-energy way that comes across as a reference to the original manga format and then every so often they’ll pull out absolutely incredible action sequences.

Look at this!!! Her triangular stompy steps! The super low line count on her as she slowly advances with the gun flying toward her hand! Her Go Nagai snarl!!!!! It’s a real treat for the eyes even without the naked women. There’s only so much “saving your best friend by the power of being naked and kissing” you can do before it stops being bait and starts just being They Are In Love.

Shlock: Absolutely

Lesbian: NATSUKO AKI

Watchability: High

Quality: Yeah

Akiba Maid War

Content Warnings: Genre-Typical, No Spoilers Don’t Worry About it

Go watch this right now.

Shlock: Less than you’d think

Lesbian: Yes

Watchability: Extreme

Quality: Genuine

A Very Specific Set Of Monogatari Arcs

Content Warnings: yeah that guy is sexually harassing that 11 year old and also that tiny little vampire and also both of his little sisters.

Show beloved by pretentious internet perverts.

Alright. You are going to watch Episodes 1-8 of Bakemonogatari Season 1, (skipping 3-5 depending on your tolerance for watching small girls getting sexually harassed) and then you are going to watch the five episodes of standalone arc Hanamonogatari, halfway through Season 2. If you really like Hanekawa, who is bisexual, watch 11-15, Neko Black and Neko White. If you really like animation, watch Kizu. Do not be tricked into thinking more of this show will be gay because Hanekawa and Senjougahara had sex in a shower once. If your goggles are really on tight, enjoy Nadeko Draw but you’ll have to sit through the previous Nadeko and Yotsugi arcs to get there and I can’t in good conscience recommend you do that.

Shlock: Less than you'd think

Lesbian: One

Watchability: SHAFT

Quality: Yes

[karolinswritings]

Can I request envy x gn reader who found him when he was is his little worm form and took him in? And then he reveals himself or something and him and reader just live together? I feel like that would be fun.

Okay I love this request, honestly I find his little worm form adorable. I am sorry for the veeery late reply, thank you so much for the request, I hope you like the headcanons. They turned out to be more like a story, I hope that's fine ^^

Fullmetal Alchemist Envy Headcanons: Envy x reader who took him in when he was in his little worm form

In these headcanons, Envy managed to escape from Mustang, Riza and Ed and he ended up alone on the streets of Amestris before he could return to Father, because of his lack of energy left.

I think when reader found him and took him in, he would be so tired and dizzy that he wouldn't really understand what is happening. All he can remember is a human reaching towards him and the warm touch of their palm.

After resting for a while he would regain consiousness and look around reader's house, observing their furniture and possesions, trying to understand where he is. Looking at their dining table he would see them and recognise them as the person who picked him up and carried him somewhere earlier. That's when it would all come together and he would realise that he is in a human house and has been taken in.

He would definitely know what condition he is in and that considering the absence of any philosopher's stones to help him regain his energy, he would stay quiet and observe their actions carefully.

When he notices reader holding a book and reading carefully through it, as if they are looking for something, and notices that it is a book about lizards and how they live, he would get the idea of pretending to be a lizard until he can find a way to regain his powers.

As time passes, he would quickly notice how careing reader is and how much they care about him. He would slowly start to trust them more and more, letting them feed him and even pet him. He would start feeling lonely whenever they are out and his eyes would sparkle with excitement anytime they come back to him.

At some point, probably after about a month passes and he notices that he doesn't entirely hate humans, specifically reader, now thinging of them as his human, he would decide to reveal himself. As to his plan of running away as soon as possible, looks like it will have to wait for a bit. This human just awoke his interest, he can't just leave.

One time, seeming out of the blue for reader, but completely planned by Envy, the little lizard would suddenly speak.

" Listen here, human. I am not a pet lizard, I am homunculus, so you should definitely stop wasting your time reading all those books, wondering how to take care of me properly. If you wanna know so bad, I might just tell you. If you ask nicely of course."

Seemingly not careing about reader's shocked expression and lack of ability to say a word from suprise, Envy would use all that's left in him to transform into his prefered form. He would have to take a seat on a nearby chair from exhaustion, but would look up at reader with a slight smirk, proud of how mesmerized they look from seeing his shape-shifting abilities.

"What? You didn't notice that whole time that I was homunculus? My oroboros tattoo was all out there for you to see and you just tought it's a spot? You're so oblivious..So, what do you think? I'm quite--"

For Envy's suprise, reader cuts him off and lifts up his chin for them to observe his features, still not really understanding what happened. They take a look at his eyes, nose, lips, making him feel more and more nervous. All of a sudden his cheeks get pink and he looks away, obviously embarresed.

"What? What's so interesting?...Stupid human.."

" You're quite handsome. So you are.. a homunculus? I think I have heard about them before, alchemists say that homunculi are artificial humans. But I definitely didn't imagine one to look so..nice."

After hearing reader's unexpected words, Envy would consider staying with them for a while, and then leaving, but the tought of ending their life doesn't seem to be of his liking, so he decides to put aside his departure until he feels satisfied enough with their presense. He won't think of it for a while.

As time goes by though, he would realise he doesn't really want to leave. At all. Everyone probably thinks he is dead anyways, so why not spend more time here? On top of all, he has his own human now.

He would get addicted to reader's care and would love feeling like a royalty, being served food, treated pretty much as a diety and being the center of reader's attention everytime he decides to tell them about all of his abilities and the pros of being homunculus.

I think he would think of various ways to get to a stone so that he can regain his abilities. Staying with reader and talking to them is quite interesting and new to him, but he would definitely miss being able to use his full abilities. If he manages to return them, the first thing he would do would be to show off to reader, taking in their compliments and watching them stand in awe as he shape-shifts into all kinds of things.

Sooner of later I think he would totaly forget about all the stuff he used to be interested in doing before. He is curious as to how living with his human would be like and in what new ways he would use his abilities.

[harocat]

Perhaps this is inaccurate, but does it ever feel to you like general cdrama fandom takes the FL being a “mature” character as the end-all indicator of the show’s quality? Recently with legend of Shenli I see quite a few people start their praise along the lines of “unlike those other garbage xianxia with their annoying FLs”. And often it becomes clear they’re trashtalking Lbfad specifically

This is not just Cdrama fandom, it's fandom on the whole; the girlbossification of female characters.

I've generally always favored characters that get this treatment. Riza Hawkeye (badass) vs. Winry Rockbell (immature), Sango (badass) vs Kagome (immature). Sorry those examples are anime, but they're very well known so 🤷

These are also often healer characters, which is a trope that tends to be... sort of maligned. How dare a women be relegated to just being a healer! But IDK, I'd rather have a well written healer than a generic, flatly written warrior any day. XLH would definitely fall under the healer class.

(One good thing I've noticed is that while all the above mentioned girls got a lot of hate back in the day, as time has gone on, they've grown to become beloved characters. You rarely see hate for any of them nowadays. It's great.)

Keeping in mind fandom's general disinterest in women, so naturally the appreciation that does exist is often extremely shallow. Characters that tend to catch their attention because of this are ones that are 'badass' or that they want to 'step on them' or whatnot. A character that starts out more mature is more likable to them because they don't need to look beyond the surface to see how 'cool' she is.

This is not an implication that Shenli is a shallow character (I am only on ep twelve, so I'm not here to give any kind of overall impression), but just that she from the beginning has more traits that are easy for people to glom onto as a 'strong female character' Do these specific people (this is obviously not all fans of Shenli) who say 'finally a mature character' write meta about Shenli? Do they gush on her and share fanworks and create and all the like. Generally no, because in my experience people who like characters for 'girlboss' reasons don't really appreciate them beyond the surface.

These people will gripe about characters like XLH, sing the praises of 'strong female characters', then go back to only caring about male characters 90% of the time.

Xiao Lanhua takes too much work for these kinds of fans. Obviously we know she is strong, we know she is badass and brave, but the XLH we meet at the beginning is silly, immature, and boy crazy. To appreciate her character fully, you have to do more than just look for five seconds and go 'wow badass'. She's a layered, richly written character, but she doesn't start out as the kind of character that fits a girlboss reading.

On the other hand, almost because of this, you can find pages and pages of meta, fic, and fanworks about her, and almost any fan of hers can give you a plethora of reasons they love her that have actual depth.

On the subject of maturity, it's often a case of the kind of immaturity that's acceptable. Dongfang Qingcang is deeply immature at the start of the series. I don't need to explain why.

But his immaturity is appealing to fandom; cute, likable, and funny. It's good immature, cool immature. And I think this is because in addition to being a male character, we're also taught that being immature like Xiao Lanhua is--- is like... a horrible thing to be? But that's not the case at all. It's just normal! Again, back to girlboss feminism. Women and female characters are held to an impossibly high standard. Female characters that act in a way that might be seen as cringe (if they aren't also badass)? Yikes.

Yes, Xiao Lanhua starts out flighty and silly, but she's also a hard worker, and even from the beginning, she's courageous (despite her timidity when confronted with bullies). She's a good character, even at the beginning; she is lovable, charming, and so, so funny. People just refuse to see beyond their first impression.

The goal in writing a female character should be to make them well written, and in that sense, Xiao Lanhua is a great character. She just happens to also be extremely brave and badass, but some people are too shallow to see it. At this point in time I don't even argue with XLH haters. I'm just like 'well fine, I'd rather not have you here anyway.'

[chrysopoeias]

Idk if Roy would be a "You just came in, what's for dinner?" Type of guy.

In that one comic where they get asked who they would bring to a desert island, Roy says that Riza can forage for food and he'll cook it.

Not a lot to go on admittedly, but I firmly believe that Roy is the domestic goddess, Riza is the one who lives on instant noodles and Starbucks.

Right right I do not think Roy would expect her to be the perfect housewife catering to his needs after they both worked all day. I’d kill him myself with my bare teeth if he did. More so that IF they fail at living together, it’s gonna be about them spending 24/7 together and going mad from that. They are not exactly in the healthiest relationship and not above frequent bickering. Going home is a good break from that loool.

Riza is actually canonically-ish good at cooking (from the video games). She specifically got good at cooking after failing to impress Roy when she was young and wanting to improve. But I agree that if she is just cooking for herself, she doesn’t care nor put in much effort.

Honestly they are also mutually the others favourite person they would tolerate being around each other for 24/7, and it would work out great. The love and obsession is deep after all, and they mutually insane and perfect for each other. They can watch each others back best while spooning :^)

[raisingmybanner]

some big bang asks for u friend mwah

Share your crunchiest bit(s) of dialogue, include zero context.

Most fun thing about the event?

What would your story smell like? Taste like? Sound like?

AH THANK YOU!! mwah <33

Dialogue snippet:

“Look,” Riza said, regretting the words even as they came out of her mouth. If she gave Rebecca an inch, the woman would take six miles and then somehow make it Riza’s fault that she still hadn’t gotten where she was trying to go. “I can go out on Friday, but I just can’t commit to a … what was the word you used?”

“A rager,” Rebecca said promptly. Her tone was much improved already, almost chipper, which Riza could only take as a bad sign.

“Do people even say that anymore?” Riza asked, half kidding and half genuine. She never had known what was cool, and that was a diagnosis that was only worsening with age.

“Who cares,” Rebecca said dismissively, already breezing along in her plans. “I’ve got people lined up, Riza! It’s going to be a great time.”

“What people?” 

“Meet at Haversham’s at 9!”

“PM?” Riza groaned. “What people?”

“Yes, PM,” Rebecca chided. “You’re thirty, not eighty.”

“I feel eighty. What people?”

“Don’t we all. See you Friday. Love you!”

“Love you,” Riza sighed, punching the end call button with a little too much force.

The most fun thing about the event was getting to chat with everybody about one of my favorite ships everrr. I love being part of a little community like this and hearing everyone else's ideas! Writing can be such a lonely process sometimes, so having the virtual company was so lovely.

Oo I answered this one already but I'll give a couple more. It smells like dust and air conditioning, tastes like that bit of sand that somehow got into your mouth??? HOW DOES SAND GET EVERYWHERE, and sounds like an old-fashioned ink pen scratching across paper. <3

[the-blue-eyed-firebender]

Fanfiction Masterlist.

(Updated 7/15/24)

I started writing again in March, and I now find myself the mother author of nine fanfics. I figure it's time I make one of these. I'll pin this post to the top of my Tumblr and update as more works are added.

So here's a masterlist of my children stories, favorites first in no particular order.

It's all Royai and Zutara Trash so if you're not into that, move along.

The Counteroffer

Riza Hawkeye x Roy Mustang

Rating: T

Word count: 2.7K

On the eve of Mustang’s inauguration as Fuhrer, Riza Hawkeye submits her resignation.

My very first Royai fanfic, and my first attempt at creative writing in literal years.

(light angst with a happy ending)

Hourglass

Riza Hawkeye x Roy Mustang

Rating: T

Word count: 1.6K

Riza Hawkeye never intended on living past age thirty-two. It wasn’t that she wanted to die. She simply did not expect to live.

Written for Royai Week 2024, Day 5: Gift

(angst with a happy ending)

The Art of Living On

Riza Hawkeye x Roy Mustang

Rating: T

Word count: 3.9K

She has never done this. Has avoided it at all costs. Because she is unfit, she tells herself. Her hands are made for firearms and filing office paperwork, not soothing fussy babies. Her edges are too sharp, too jagged to provide comfort to anyone. She is scarred and bloodied and barely knows the love of a mother herself.

But the baby wails, pleading.

Written for Royai Week 2024, Day 2: Appreciate

(domestic fluff, light angst with a happy ending)

Uncle Zuko

Katara x Zuko

Rating: T

Word count: 2.6K

Of all the things his hands have held - from dragon eggs and ancient texts to the element of Fire itself - this is by far the most precious, the most powerful: a new generation, one born into a world without war.

Zuko is forced to hold Sokka's baby, and feelings happen. I published this story years ago on FFN under a different title. This is the updated/revised version. I haven't written much of them lately, but Zuko & Katara are, and will always remain, my otp.

(domestic fluff)

Strong Whiskey and Slanted Light

Riza Hawkeye x Roy Mustang

Rating: G

Word count: 908

His team is alive. The Elric brothers have their bodies back. Havoc can walk again. And from her place in the driver’s seat, Riza Hawkeye - alive and breathing - glances sharply in his direction, brows raised in a rare moment of removing her attention from the road ahead. He doesn’t miss the way she winces at the sudden movement of her still-healing neck. “Sir?”

“It’s just a question, Lieutenant. I’m curious.”

Written for Royai Week 2024, Day 1: Curiosity

(light angst, mutual pining)

As You Were

Riza Hawkeye x Roy Mustang

Rating: T

Word count: 2.4K

Maybe it’s the fact that she’s dropped his honorific.

Maybe it’s the fact that they are somehow both alive. Maybe it’s the fact that he can see her, when he’d believed with such certainty that he never would again. He can see her and she is beautiful, and for once he doesn’t understand why he ever chose to banish that thought from his mind when it is so clearly the truth.

(angst)

The Flame Alchemist's Daughter

Riza Hawkeye x Roy Mustang

Rating: T

Word count: 6.4K

The ink is a burden. The knowledge is a curse.

Disclaimer: I wrote this before I fully understood the mechanics of Mustang's flame alchemy (I literally finished the series in March 2024; I'm new here, so my bad). I realized later that some of the implications here would not make sense in canon. That said, I still love this story. I'm proud of it and it's freaking fanfiction so who cares.

(angst)

Checkmate

Riza Hawkeye x Roy Mustang

Rating: T

Word count: 1.6K

In the wake of his election victory, Roy Mustang makes a very important visit to Fuhrer President Grumman.

Prequel to "The Counteroffer."

(fluff, light angst)

Four

Riza Hawkeye x Roy Mustang

Rating: T

Word count: 2.2K

Each time he has laid eyes on Riza Hawkeye’s tattoo, the course of Roy Mustang’s life has been permanently altered.

(angst with a happy ending)

[qs63]

Roy's lack of self-preservation

This took me a long time to write. Sorry about that. My health took a hit this past month (Don't worry, I'm alright).

Here is a bit of a deconstruction of Roy's character, the way he sees himself, and how that translates into a complete lack of self-preservation.

Roy's fatalism

For someone who is supposedly an idealist Roy sure has a fatalist view of life.

In the OVA "Yet another man's battlefield", Roy tells Hughes that he wants to defend his country and doesn't care if he dies doing so. To which Hughes replies that he doesn't want to die for the sake of anything (ironic, I know). Two years later, when Riza asks Roy not to die, he responds that he can't guarantee he won't die like a piece of trash on the sideway.

You could argue that Roy is being realistic, but I disagree. Roy is after all an idealist by his own admission, and this fatalistic POV is a complete contradiction to the naive way in which he regards his role as a soldier — as a protector rather than as a murderer, which Kimblee later calls out during Ishval. Not to mention that this is unusually pessimistic coming from a young person. See the way Hughes, Heathcliff, and even Riza talk about their own goals in the military. None of them is constantly reaffirming their own mortality.

Perhaps, this comes from Roy's Alchemist nature— from the deep ingrained belief of equivalent exchange. Perhaps, it comes from the characters' unknown past. Whatever the reason, there's no denying that to Roy his own life is something he is willing to trade off for the greater good. By this I doesn't mean he is suicidal. He is not. What I mean is that for Roy everything else comes before his own survival, and this is something that reflects in much more than just his speech.

Roy's reckless fighting style

We all remember Riza sweeping in to Roy's rescue when he's about to fight Scar under the rain. This is not an accident or him just being forgetful. Roy is actually arrogant to the point of recklessness when it comes to his own abilities. He's the sort of person that stages an intricate plan to rescue one soldier from execution, and then marches himself right into the wolf's mouth because he is THAT confident he can deal with any repercussions.

Which… he is not, but he has good reasons to believe he is.

It is easy to overlook because the main characters are alchemists, but Alchemy is very rare and powerful in the world of FMA. It is the sole reason Amestris is a superpower despite being such a small country. In the manga (not so much in Brotherhood), we are constantly reminded that normal people don't understand Alchemy, and the State Alchemists are dehumanized, often compared to human weapons, monsters, and/or gods.

Roy's alchemy, in particular, is extremely dangerous. Even among the Homunculi, there are few individuals that can stand up to the might of Roy's full power. This is why he believes himself invincible. Ishval taught Roy the strength of Flame alchemy, and the horrors it can cause in the wrong hands. As its wielder this makes Roy powerful and dangerous.

A monster among humans.

As such in Roy's mind he's an invincible monster whose life is unimportant when compared to his goals and the life of those he's sworn to protect. This is why for Roy facing actual monsters (the Homunculi) is such a humbling and humanizing experience. This is why he tells Riza:

Now you see why Roy marches forward recklessly and without hesitation. It's a combination of his lack of self-worth, and the knowledge that he wields a power few people can match.

But Roy's lack of self-preservation goes even beyond his speech and fighting style.

Roy's lifestyle

This mentality that he is a monster whose only purpose is to serve others permeates Roy's lifestyle. The idea that Riza is the stern one that takes her job too seriously and that Roy is the frivolous one that prefers to enjoy life is hilariously ironic. The narrative shows us almost the opposite story.

We see Riza out doing groceries on her day off. We see her shopping clothes with Rebecca. We see her taking Hayate out for walks. We see her having a shower after work and putting on comfy clothes at home. We see her having a life outside of the military, even if adjacent to it.

In the meantime, Roy is always in the office. He sleeps in the break room. He cleans himself in the public restroom. He eats in the mess hall. Badly so at times as we get a comment about his weight from Armstrong. When he goes out on dates or to drink, we are shown he's actually gathering intel. The one time we see him in his apartment he's sleeping on the goddamn couch still in his crumpled uniform.

There are no comfy Pjs in his home. No long showers. No pets to keep him company. No days off with his friends.

And this all makes sense, because monsters that only exist to protect others don't need comfort.

They need to make themselves useful.

When Riza tells Roy to think more of himself. When Riza tells Ed that Roy will pay the price alone and make sure his subordinates escape punishment. When Arakawa jokes that Riza needs to remind Roy how to take care of himself. It is because Roy has never bothered to keep himself alive beyond what's needed to fulfill his duties, and Riza knows it.

Roy is a barely functional human disaster with zero sense of self-preservation. The only reason he's alive is because he's had people like Hughes (vs Heathcliff), Riza (so many times), and even the Elrics (vs gluttony) sweep in and save his ass every time he's about to kick the bucket.

--

I have some theories and headcanons about why Roy might have ended up being this way. I will maybe post them on a later date.

Thanks for reading! ^ ^

[courtmartialme]

friend i know it's Riza time but you typed out the words "alpha Olivier" and now i think i hauve covid... anyway do you think Riza's annoyed about being an omega for the most part or does she enjoy it?

ALPHA OLIVIER... ofc it's the obvious choice, and my preferred one since i want her doing things to riza <3 but tbf if i cared more about the politics of it i would make her beta or maybe even omega because someone with her personality and who got to achieve this much power be a non alpha would be something fun to explore i think!! but i only care about riza's harem so i leave it up to someone else........!

and yes riza hates being an omega :] when she had her first heat she barely knew anything about it because it's a taboo topic she wouldn't hear much about at school, and of course berthold never bothered to talk to her about it so it was a scary experience for her. it's very frustrating for riza who was always independent to be an omega, struggling with an outdated idea that omega are submissive and built to serve... as someone who already has issues with bodily autonomy it is really frustrating. so she starts taking suppressants when she joins the military and presents as a beta for years. very few people know shes actually an omega...! of course suppressants aren't perfect and prone to failing if you abuse them ... ! riza has a strong shame complex about it and a lot to unlearn emotionally physically sexually etc because she's insanely repressed _(:3 」∠)_

[applepie-enthusiast]

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood ft. KNY characters

If you know FMAB growing up, I salute you. If you are going to watch it now, I also salute you. Anyway, let's proceed. In response to this poll

In their sincerest hopes to see their dearly beloved deceased mother again, Tanjirou and Nezuko aimed to do what was considered as "Taboo" in Alchemy, that is "Human Transmutation."

Being kids, they believed they could resurrect Kie, who had fallen ill and died because of an outbreak. (Imagine all their siblings too but chose to revive Kie first)

However, they experienced "rebound" and because of that, Nezuko's entire body was taken, while Tanjirou lost his left leg, and cried out in extreme pain and anguish. But, determined to get even Nezuko's soul back, he sacrificed his right arm so he could attach her soul to an armour.

I somehow want Kanao to be their childhood friend aka Winry.

Shinobu as Pinako is funny, but just imagine if Shinobu took the responsibility to take care of Kanao after their older sister Kanae, who was a doctor, was sent to battle and died there.

Tanjirou lowkey being so guilty about what happened to Nezuko that he was so afraid to ask her if she is mad at him. [THAT EPISODE BROKE ME. Just Kanao smashing Nezuko's armored head with a wrench and telling her to run after Tanjirou is peak drama and comedy]

I'm conflicted if I should continued as intended that Tanjurou is their dad in this au as well. Because I just can't see him having the same face as the main antagonist aka "Father". But it's also a big fucking no for "Father" to be Muzan. Yoriichi as Father is TERRIFYING tho.

Obanai as Roy Mustang please it's so funny. But he did give Tanjirou a drive and a motivation to get their bodies back.

Mitsuri as Riza Hawkeye. She hides all her trauma with her personality but Mitsuri being a sniper in the Battle of Ishbal would just be peak 👌 angst.

Rengoku Kyojurou as Maes Hughes. He often comically and enthusiastically tells Obanai to find a wife and marry already (aka marry Mitsuri) and Kyojurou is proud of his little brother Senjurou. He tells everyone about him, and dots on him. He's very kind and warm towards anyone and everyone he meets.

Everything was okay until he found out too quickly, about what was happening in the country. He was too smart for his own good. He was attacked first by Lust aka Daki, but escaped.

DOUMA as Envy would make so much sense. His playful personality when he impersonates a colleague of Rengoku, but Rengoku quickly realizes it isn't them. Rengoku was hastily trying to contact Obanai to tell him of what he found out, but unfortunately this creature finds him. Rengoku whispered that he has to go home and he can't die here, and was about to attack the creature, but Douma had transformed to mimic his mother, Ruka, who Douma had seen from the lone pic that fell from Rengoku's wallet in his haste to contact Obanai. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. THE THREE GUNSHOTS.

Obanai sighing when he received a phone call, but quickly felt something was off because Rengoku rarely pauses and stay silent that long. "Kyojuro?" He asks.

Rengoku's bloody hand reaching out to the phone because he heard his best friend, but Douma had already placed it back to cut the call.

"Humans are so stupid, falling for such a trick." He mocks and insults him, laughing as he left.

Rengoku, bleeding out, whispering, "Sorry, Senjurou, I can't go home tonight as promised.

JUST TINY SENJUROU (younger than canon), CLUTCHING ON THEIR DAD'S PANTS, innocently asking, "Why are they burying big brother...? How can he go to work if they bury him?" Everyone was devastated

Obanai silent throughout.

After the funeral, JUST OBANAI SAYING, "Ah, It's about to rain".

Mitsuri looking up at the sky. "Eh? It's not raining..." Then she quickly realizes what Obanai meant when he started crying.

"No, it's raining, alright." Obanai adds, and Mitsuri bows her head, and in a sad voice, seconds him.

"Ah.. yes, it's raining... Let's go inside, it'll be cold here soon..."

WHO WILL BE NINA???? AND ALEXANDER???

Daki as LUST as mentioned above. Gyutaro as GLUTTONY. It just goes along well with how those two are close with Douma aka ENVY.

AKAZA as WRATH. he's a king of a nation that already has everything decided for it. Except his bride, Koyuki, who he chose himself.

AKAZA AS KING BRADLEY (and how his hand shookt in anger during rengoku's funeral) he has this twisted view that the weak will inevitably die in the hands of the strong.

KOKUSHIBOU AS PRIDE. Him parading as a tiny child (of course he poses as a human, the son of the king. But he is INDEED DEADLIER, STRONGER than Wrath.) is just so funny. Except he won't be as energetic as Selim Bradley, probably just always curious and "idolizes" the Fullmetal Alchemist aka Tanjirou. THE FIRST SIN THAT FATHER LETS GO OF.

MUICHIROU AS LING YAO. He visits this foreign country looking for a philosopher's stone. He is the representative of their clan because his older brother can't fight like him (added this info). In order to save his clan, he wants to gain information about immortality. He came to the country with his two vassals, Zenitsu (LAN FAN but they're just buddies) and Jigoro (OLD MAN FU), who came from a family that had been serving his for centuries. They're very loyal to him. Muichirou often stresses them out though. HAHAHAHA

Just imagine Mui and co. mooching off food from Tanjirou and Nezuko HAHAHAHAHA

"i cAn'T uNdErsTanD tHiS CouNtRy'S lAnGuagE" whenever he placed the siblings or himself in trouble HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Mui collapsing on the side of the road and forgetting his entry pass and being sent to jail is PEAK COMEDY

HIM HAVING CONVERSATIONS ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A KING WITH AKAZA THOUGH. While holding an injured zenitsu over his shoulders. OH MY GOD.

Zenitsu sacrificing his hand for them to escape is just wow. If Jigoro is Old Man Fu, he would die. Ouch. (I initially thought of genya as lan fan and sanemi as old man fu but I had plans for sanemi)

So that means Muichirou will be GREED.

INOSUKE WILL BE MEI LING.

Giyuu will be Izumi, Tanjirou and Nezuko's sensei. As seen with his Kimetsu Academy counterpart, his training would be HELL. I'd like to say he is married to Sabito (HE'S ALIVE, SABITO WILL BE SIG). They were living well before Giyuu's sister inexplicably died, and he tried to revive her with alchemy. He had seen the Truth as well.

Sloth will just be GYOMEI TO GIVE A THRILL WITH THE FIGHT. But instead of the sloth in fmab, imagine if Gyomei isn't really evil, but was forced to do what he has to, or else the children he was caring for would die (or something)

Tengen???????? (OR ANY OF HIS WIVES AS Olivier Mira Armstrong???? I JUST THINK TENGEN'S INITIAL PERSONALITY TOWARDS TANJIROU AND CO WOULD BE LMAO)

UROKODAKI AS MARCO.

I CAN'T THINK WHO WILL BE SCAR. SANEMI CAME TO MIND I'M SO SORRY.

When Mui and Tanjirou got sucked in Gluttony's stomach and lmao at tanjirou finding Nezuko's armor hand and going, "TIME FOR MY TELEPATHIC POWERS TO AWAKEN, KAMADO TELEPATHY OHHHHH NEZUKO HEAR ME!!!" and Muichirou deadpan going, "have fun with that"

They would eat BOOT SOUP

Fast forward to all the dramas

Obanai going lowkey insane with finding out who killed Rengoku. He finds Douma and Douma congratulates him on finally finding Rengoku's killer.

Obanai scoffing, "I doubt Kyojurou was killed by someone dumb like you."

Douma going all laughter, saying, "Stupid? What's stupid is people who would fall for this!!!" Then he transforms into Ruka or Senjurou.

Oh the way Obanai's look changed and Mitsuri instantly knew hell would start.

Mitsuri pointing a gun to Obanai's head on the onslaught of happenings and Obanai raising his hand, "What's this about, Lieutenant?"

Mitsuri smiling knowingly, "You tell me. The colonel calls me ~Mitsuri~ when we're alone."

Obanai widens his eyes and instantly reveals himself as Envy and says, "You had a thing going on?!"

Mitsuri smiling, shooting him, "I lied. Thanks for falling for it."

She tried to kill him but is soon overpowered.

Douma laughs, exclaiming, "I will rip you to shreds and show you to your precious colonel!"

But then Obanai arrives.

Obanai going, "what are you planning on doing with my irreplaceable subordinate?" to douma is peak 👌👌👌 when the latter started targeting mitsuri (their other counterpart where douma is a con artist but disappeared after meeting mitsuri and/or obanai is so funny)

Anyway just their heartfelt moment of "If you die, I'll follow"

FAST FORWARD MORE

Obanai going, "I'm surprised you can see in this darkness, fullmetal" because his one eye is already canonically almost blind BUT HIM GOING FORCEFULLY COMPLETELY BLIND HURTS ME.

I'm so obsessed with them. But that's all for now.

[ilikelookingatthings]

full metal alchemist gravity falls au conversation

likelookingatthings Go full metal alchemist ford!

greycoffeethe amount of angst an AU like this can create... dang i need this as a fic so bad

ilikelookingatthings@greycoffee The fact when you commented this so I told my sister and she isn't even in the gravity falls fandom...yet immediately pingponged alternate ways a full mental alchemist gravity falls fic au could go.

Stan as Edward whose brother's body was lost like al as a parallel to ford accidentally getting sucked in the portal and how stan was burned with a reminder.

. The burning house losing identity parallel to not turn back til he gets his brother back. A version where ford's soul was lost but not his body and Stan gets punched in that white void like when Ed sees his brother.A version where like normal full mental fird is in a suit like al and lost his body.

A version where Stan has to pretend to be his alchemist brother but can't do alchemy...just conning his way into people believing it.

How you coukd mix different aspects together. Professor Markov with his research and paranoia similar to ford. How maybe they tried to mess with a taboo. Like maybe they were trying to bring someone back....or maybe ford got tricked by the hulunculi becayse ifvhisctendency to push boundaries in research bht realized he went too far or something..aspect of government conspiracies and how the philosophers stone also connects gold/wealth which stan was obsessed with.

Even brought up a thought if a Stanford stanely parallel with greed and the prince. And a unending options defending on what ratio you lean toward .

Greycoffe@ THESE ARE SUCH GOOD IDEAS HOLY SHIT?? like another idea I got from one of yours is Dip&Mab being Ed&Al and after trying to bring back their dead loved one, have to move in with Stan (this version's Pinako) who's taking care of Pacifica (can be someone else, but I thought she'd be a cute love interest for either twin).

greycoffee i really enjoyed reading your ideas but I cannot for the love of me write out a fully fleshed out fic bc I'm already writing other AUs 😭 (i shall keep this in my notes however :3)

Ford could possibly be someone like Hohenheim with Bill being the homunculus in the flask, etc etc

ilikelookingatthings@greycoffee Ooooh that's fun! Cuz Pacifica abd windy are blonde..also some potential if she represents king Bradley's kid. What with her family being rich and the theme of corruption of rich government people. There is also the option of what if Stan if Stan is the alchemist teacher.....

ooooh or if dipper and Mabel represent Edward while stan is al.Personally off arc I'd picture her as from the north fortress from the Armstrong family.

or that guy with a mustache from the mining town who gets overthrown by the siblings meddling who gets caught up in shenegans and petty talks of revenge but who slowly gets a arc if being a better person.

Huh...just realized Pacifica could also be greed, the prince or Mei since her sense of importance and need to make her family happy and her struggle to understand friends.

Want to throw out there fiddleford could be doctor Markov. And for fun and not for real...Barry the butcher as stan.

Though if Pacifica is winry would that make that ghost who hates her family scar? Though if she's a Armstrong would that make sloth the ghost?

Honestly I get the feeling. I'm so behind on getting through my fanfiction tabs the thought of writing myself even when I have ideas to chew on can feel like too much at times.

I'm gonna reblog this conversation. See if anyone else wants to chew on this bone.

Extra thought...stanley and fird as Riza and mustang considering the trying to become mayor plot line and who we knkw gets injured in the end.

Also a funny imagine is while adjusting ages can work...just imagine all the characters the same age in gravity falls and things get ten times more hilarious (or sad depending) cuz the government has a bunch of kid employees running things. Just imagine old stan and ford as the elric Brothers while the kid superiors are dipper and Mabel.

[rizaposting]

hi kim i adore you and i hope you’re well!!! i’ve determined to ask everyone: if you had to add a third person into royai, who are you picking, and why?

WHEEHEE thank you Julianna <3 This is a really fun one.

First of all, I'm generally a royai + anyone when the focus of the throuple/group is on giving Riza 30000 kisses and making her [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]. Team Mustang Riza Harem is super fun and I will get around to it eventuallyyyyyy but I need them all showering her with so much affection she explodes. It's what she deserves.

IF we're keeping it to three, I think Roy/Riza/Rebecca is cute, for the reasons above. Two of Riza's oldest and closest friends doting on her. I don't imagine Roy and Rebecca are involved with each other but they are friends who give each other shit and are united over loving their gf.

Now.......... If you'll let me get self-indulgent......... I'm insane over Royai + Feiga, an oc from my and @phoenixfangs's ongoing RP. Feiga was a Drachman assassin with a bounty on Royai's head, but it turns out they weren't an easy mark (much to Riza's interventions, including getting a blind shot in Feiga's shoulder after she herself was shot pushing Roy out of the way, and later on biting the shit out of Feiga's hand like a rabid dog when she was unarmed during a showdown). Riza ends up showing Feiga mercy and kindness because she sees a lot of herself in Feiga, or what she could have become if she hadn't had people caring for her, and this kindness makes Feiga lesbian explode. As a threesome, Roy and Feiga would fight and bicker and compete to see who could make Riza get the most flustered and Riza would be in the middle purring soooooooo hard.